sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
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