he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
Randomize
