halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
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