Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
I got inside last night via doggy door
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
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