Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
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