I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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