Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
Randomize
