So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
Sober January is a disaster.
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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