I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
