when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
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