i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
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