You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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