I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
Randomize
