Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
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