I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
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