my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
two of my INSANE ex girlfriends just texted me saying their coming over because im home alone. needless to say, im deleting my twitter.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
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