Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
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