She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
Randomize
