I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
