This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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