the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
