Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
