You can't motorboat a personality
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Just puked most of my soul out..
Randomize
