Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Randomize
