This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
