I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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