Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
wow bdsm is so cute
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize