I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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