Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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