Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
Come see our sink grown plant.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Randomize
