To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
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