super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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