I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
Randomize