4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
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