But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
Randomize
