Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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