dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
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