We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Randomize