...so i touched it.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
We are all done wearing pants today
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
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