wrigley field is MILF paradise
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Randomize