Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
