So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
Randomize
