his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
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