I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize
