In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
Randomize
