He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Randomize
