OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
Randomize
