He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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