The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Randomize