Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize