Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
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