i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
Randomize
