haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Randomize
