Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Randomize
