good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
