Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Randomize
