I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
My underwear smells like fireworks.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
