No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
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